Goodbye
by Sherlockianfangirl36
Summary: *SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR* Was anyone else greatly dissatisfied with Thor's last words to Loki? Well, I was, so I changed it (which included changing the manner of Loki's end, so just go with it).


From within his makeshift bonds, Thor stared in horror at the scene laid out before him. He glared daggers at Loki as he offered himself up as guide to Thanos. As if he needed more proof that he was the worst brother he could have been given.

He should've known something was wrong when he heard the name.

 _Odinson_

Before Thor's anger had time to set in completely, Thor's eyes widened in shock as he watched a knife materialize in his brother's hand. Loki approached Thanos. He poised to strike, and with the phrase "undying" still on his lips, Loki's dagger was seized from his hand and pierced through his middle.

Thor projected a muffled scream as he watched Thanos twist the blade. He could focus on nothing but he own smothered cries as the villains before him disappeared with a snap of Thanos' fingers. Thor struggled against his bonds, but nothing loosened. He struggled again, summoning all the strength he thought his grief had drained him of, until at last, the material around him groaned under the strain, and he fell to the ground with debris gathered around him.

A sob ripped through his throat as he gazed at the fallen bodies of his people strewn about the vessel. Then his eyes rested on Loki. This ship did not need another body. Thor crawled his way steadily towards the limp body of his brother. As Thor reached him, he cradled the dying god's head in his lap, brushing the stray hairs from out of his face.

" _You really are the worst brother."_

Were those truly to be Thor's last words to Loki? Was that truly what Loki would believe his brother thought of him into the grave?

"Brother?

"Brother?

"Brother…?"

Thor gasped involuntarily as Loki's hand reached up to grab his arm. His face had drained of all color, and dark blood streaked his leather outfit. Thor leaned down, touching his forehead to Loki's, and whispered, "Brother, Brother, stay. You're fine."

"N-no…n-not…not this time."

Thor gently ran his fingers through his brother's hair. "Silence, you'll be fine. You're okay."

Loki's brow furrowed as he watched a tear drip down his brother's face. He brought up his hand to meet it.

"Then…What is this?"

Thor ignored the question, "Why, Brother? Why would you do something so foolish?"

"I-" he gasped, and groped at his wound.

Thor held him closer.

""I wanted to…I wanted to show you…" His sentence was cut short as he began to cough up blood unto Thor's front.

"Shhh…"

Loki steadied himself by placing a hand against Thor's frame. "N-no…You have to know…you must…." Tears streamed freely from the trickster's eyes.

A thousand thoughts swarmed through Loki's head at that moment. A thousand thoughts he could not make his lips speak. He wanted Thor to know everything; he wanted him to know everything he had kept hidden for so long. He wanted Thor to know the reasons behind every betrayal. He wanted him to know that it had been more than just jealousy and hurt.

Maybe it began as jealousy: of Thor's fame, or the love their father had shown to him. But of course there was more.

There came a point where the betrayals had been stacked endlessly one upon the next, so that Loki himself could not begin to hope his brother could forgive him. Odin may have deemed Thor unworthy of his power, but Loki had long ago deemed himself unworthy of his brother's love. Of anyone's love.

After all, how could he make up for his crimes?

If they could not forgive him, he would not give them reason to try. What kept him safest was to show hatred to those he loved, to pretend as though that love had never been there in the first place. It was difficult at first, but the more he did it, the easier it had become, until even Loki could not remember if he truly loved his brother in the first place.

But then on Sakaar, and later Asgard, and now…where he would die, he and his brother had worked side by side for the sake of their people, and Loki remembered the answer: he loved his brother dearly. So he betrayed his brother again, determined to stay on Sakaar with or without him, determined to forget his love. Determined to be worthy of the hatred he had earned.

He thought he preferred never to see his brother again, and he told him as much. Who knew Thor would agree with him? Thor's concession, his simple sentence, felt like a knife being twisted into him (though, he could now say that was not a realistic analogy).

Given all of this, Loki himself could hardly understand why he chose to help Thor in the end. Maybe he wanted a chance to play the hero, too. Maybe he let sentiment get the best of him, and just wanted to become worthy of his brother's love and not his hatred. Could he?

Even after his actions, even after he had gotten to play the hero, Thor did not believe he would stya.

" _If you were here, I might even hug you."_

 _He was there, he never left._

" _I'm here."_

Loki recalled the way his brother charged at him in the moment following, capturing him in a vice-like hug. After his initial shock was over, Loki wrapped his arms around his brother, and buried his head in the crook of his shoulder.

He didn't think Thor understood why tears began to stream down his face. But he understood. Of course he understood. Ho would even admit it to himself. He was not worthy of Thor's , and yet…here he was, in the arms of his brother.

And now, he's just been given a chance to prove his love for Thor. His loyalty. His fidelity. Perhaps it was stupid, or perhaps Thanos would never had left with both of them still alive anyway. Regardless, he had to try—for Thor. Because he had never truly been an Odinson. He had never been a son of Odin, but he'd always been a brother of Thor; and maybe, just maybe, he had become worthy of that today.

This was all he had wanted to say, but couldn't. All that came from his mouth was, "The sun…w-will shine on us again."

And as Thor wrapped his body in a parting hug, he would have sworn he heard him whisper "I love you" before everything went black.


End file.
